Vera Institute for Justice "People First" February 16, 20161:00 p.m. CT >> SHANNON SCULLY: Good afternoon, everybody. This is Shannon Scully with the Vera Institute of Justice. The Webinar will begin in approximately --or in just a few minutes. We're just going to wait for some more people to get on here. If you have a question or need any assistance, please send us a message in the question pod to the right of the PowerPoint. Also, if you would like to download a copy of the PowerPoint today, you can do so by clicking on the file and download a copy of the presentation and handouts and then click on "download files." Before I begin, I would ask that you take a moment to --we're going to put up a couple of polling questions here on our screen. So if you could answer those polling questions just to give us a sense of who's on the line today. So the first question is: What area do you primarily work in? And the answers we provide for you are deaf, disability, domestic violence, healthcare, law enforcement, legal, sexual violence --I know that some of you work in many of the above, so we have one of those there or other. You can also choose "not to vote." Our second question is: How long have you been working on issues of violence against people with disabilities? And the responses here are "I am new to working in this area," 1to 3 years, 4 to 6 years, 7 to 12 years, and then, finally, too many years to count. You can also choose not to vote today. So if you take a moment and please respond to thosequestions, we're going to wait for a few more people to geton. And then we will start our Webinar for this afternoon. All right. It looks like the responses to our pollingquestions are slowing down. Or in terms of our first question, what area do you primarily work in, we have anumber of people who are on that are working in many of theareas of both, so about 14 of you --there's several of youworking in sexual violence, in the domestic violence field. So we welcome you all. We are very much looking forward to adiverse audience this afternoon on this topic. Additionally, it looks like there's a number of you onwho are new to working in this field. So welcome! We are very excited to have you involved in our work and the work ofending violence against people with disabilities with deafpeople. We also have a number of you who have just bentrecent one to three years working in this. And we have a significant number of you who have been in this field forjust too many years to count. So, again, thank you for allof your hard work and for everything that you do. We're going to get going on our Webinar. So I would like to welcome you all to our presentation today. The presentation title "People First, practicing accessibilityone contact at a time." We are very excited to bring youthis as part of our 2016 people with disabilities Webinarseries. I have a few logistical items to go over before we begin. These are a few of the things you saw in the video that wasplaying earlier. I would like your assistance in justtesting our captioning pod. The captioning pod is located inthe bottom left-hand corner of the screen directly below the presentation. The words I am speaking should appear in the captioningpod. So if you can see the captioning, please go ahead andraise your virtual hand using the virtual person at the topof the screen. Okay, great! If there's anyone that cannot see the captioning pod, please send us a message in the Q&A pod. Participants, youare all in listen-only mode which means we are not able to hear you but you should be able to hear us. If you cannothear the presenter speaking or, again, if you are having anytechnical difficulties with the captioning or any othertechnical difficulties during the presentation today, pleaseuse the --please message us and enter your question or yourconcern in the question pod to the right of the PowerPoint. This is going to be the best way to communicate with myself or my Vera colleagues who are providing technicalsupport throughout our Webinar today. We'll also save some time at the end of the presentationfor question and comments. If you have a question or commentand you don't want to lose that question or comment during the presentation, please feel free to go ahead and enter itin the question pod. And I'll hold that for you until theend of our presentation today. If you would like --again, if you would like to download a copy of the presentation, you can do so by going to the pod just below where you see mybusiness card right there, the picture of me at the top ofthe screen, click on the words "People First" and then clickon the button that says "download files." All right. Let us begin. Since the Americans with Disabilities Act was passed, there has been some gains intheir understanding of what it means to be accessible. We see parking spaces and power doors and other features thatfacilitate physical access. However, what we often overlookis that access is also about interpersonal contact. So todaywe're going to take a closer look at this idea and discusshow we can practice being accessible one contact at a time. I would like to welcome back Mark Sweet, who is our presenter for today. Mark is a trainer and consultant with Disability Rights Wisconsin in his role, works to supportwork and supervise living organizations, long-term care providers, managed care organizations, people who receivesupport, and others. He has also worked in the past 14 years with Wisconsin's federally funded anti-abuse project related to individuals with disabilities. The emphasis of his work is to betterunderstand the points of view of those who receive supportand how that can result in more meaningful engagement. Mark, welcome back to our presentation and I'm going toturn the Webinar over to you. >> MARK SWEET: Thanks, Shannon. It's my pleasure to be part of the Vera's Webinar seriesand getting started in 2016. If you are listening to this, you're probably part of a collaboration. And what you'regoing to be hearing from me this afternoon are things that Ihave been trying to learn as being part of our Wisconsin'scollaboration which is that when we try to talk about anykind of issue, there are going to be people who we will beengaging with who have their own concerns and their ownpoints of view about pretty much any topic, their own jargon, their own language, their comfort zones. And part of what I hope you'll notice this afternoon for the next 90 minutes or so is the attempt to make all of whatwe're talking about relatable language. It's not to use movement speak but to use general language that anyone mightunderstand, and, also, that the information is usable as much as possible. That's my attempt. You get to vote on whether it's usable or not. Those two qualities of relatable language and usable information have been part of what I havebeen striving for as part of my role in our Wisconsinproject. The title of this session "practicing accessibility," it's not an accident to take that word "practicing" becausesometimes people think of access as something you either areor are not. When you look at the work we do as beinginterpersonal work and trying to learn from and support people who are looking for some kind of information orassistance, it's all interpersonal. So we're as good as thelast contact we had, which means it's not a finish line. It's ongoing in the work that we do. So here you've got an example of what for many people is the issue of access. Not a very good one. But for some, access is really about physical access. It's about the symbols of accessibility and it's about what's measurable. And this is certainly measurable. It's not right. And I don't minimize the essentials of measurable, physical accessbut it's really a starting point. It's not the end point. So part of what we have to figure out how to do is how tokeep upping our work and trying to challenge ourselves. Manyof the stories certainly that I heard when I first startedconnecting, I had come from the world of working on behalf ofand with people with disabilities and then 14 years agostarted meeting those of you who are connected tointerpersonal abuse and sexual assault programs. As I started listening to the experiences of people who said, well, you know, I tried to get help. I called this organization or I approached someone during a training. People talked about going into offices or even actuallyentering programs. And they would tell stories aboutmisconnection, the opportunity was there, they tried and theyleft for one reason or another. And we started to understand it's not only buildings thatcan be inaccessible; people can be inaccessible. As we goforward, I'd encourage you, if you want to, to take this personally. Instead of thinking about people beinginaccessible, as we're going through this content, askyourself if you're ever inaccessible. Are there things youare unaware of that you might be doing that would cause someone to leave or disconnect or hang up? To my amazement, when people would tell me that they madecontact and they did not consider sticking around that theyleft when I would say: How long did it take you to connectagain in some other way? And one of the things I heardwas --frequently was "about two years." When you thinkabout the work that we're all doing, two years is a reallylong time for someone to have tried to make contact and thento leave. One of the questions I asked --and I ask this of peoplein all kinds of advocacy, and I use the word "advocacy" verybroadly. So if you answer a phone where you work, I'mthinking of you as an advocate. If you do intake, if youwork night shift someplace, I'm thinking about you as an advocate. So pretty much I'm guessing anyone who'slistening, I'm thinking of you as an advocate. And one of the questions I asked a lot is: What do youthink you're really good at? And if you're not sure whatyou're really good at, what is your intention with regard to the people who seek out you or your organization for help? And what you see on your screen is the top four things thatpeople have told me matter to them in terms of what theythink they're really good at or what they intend to do. And that is people would say, well, I listen really well or Iempower people, I advocate for people, I support people. When I talk to people who have tried to get help throughany of those organizations, they have a slightly differentpoint of view. There's: What's your strength or intention? And then, what is the other person's experience? What is the other person's point of view? And what I heard is, well, sometimes they tell me what todo or they give me permission or maybe they don't. Or theyadvocate for what they want for me or think I need. And it's their time line for me. And they support me when I do whatthey want. Sometimes they dismiss me. This is not being said about people who were cavalier. This is being said sometimes about people who are very good, smart, caring people but there are different points of viewabout what's going on. I want you to notice that word "time line" for a minute. If you are taking on this challenge of thinking, you know, amI ever inaccessible, when I've said to people: Have you hadcontact with people where you believe that their intentionwas to be helpful? And they say yes. And I say: What is it then that makes it hard when you believe people really wantto be of help? And they say different versions of the samemessage, which is they want to help me too fast. They ask mequestions too fast. They expect answers too fast. They want me to trust them too fast. They want me to get up and go dosomething faster than I feel like I'm able to. And so there is a difference of point of view that cancause some people who really need support to just leave andfeel like they have not had access to what they needed. Think about this phrase "I'm just trying to help." Notice if you have ever thought that. Some of us have even said it out loud to people. You are trying and you have thismoment where you say "I'm just trying to help you." Even if you didn't say it, if you thought it, what you know for surein that moment if you've had the thought is this connectionis not going well because I'm trying to be helpful but I'mnot being experienced as helpful. That's a decision point. It's a decision point for any one of us. And the decision is, if you are having that thought, doyou keep doing what you're doing or do you figure out isthere any way to change what you're doing? It's a decision point and it's about access. Many of us just keep doing whatwe're doing and then for one reason or another, we explain itaway as, well, I explained it and I told her and I was tryingto help. But it wasn't experienced in that way. Another --have you ever had the thought "if I had known," you learn something later about someone and you thinkif I had known I could have done this. If I had known, Iwould not have done that. It's another one of those moments of insight. And we're going to be talking more about what itmeans to understand something about trauma or power, to have awareness of the possibility of trauma or power. This is, basically, the basis of it, that I could havebeen different. Someone else didn't have to adjust to me. I could have adjusted something about what I was doing. And it's not always about something violent or abusive. If I had known someone couldn't read, I wouldn't have given thempamphlets. Or if I had known someone's literacy wasn't asadvanced as the written material, I would have made sure that the words were understandable. If I knew someone hadn't slept in days, I would have changed my challenge of what wewere talking about. To get this right takes at least two qualities. One is humility. You know, when Shannon was checking you to check off how long have you been doing this work, some of you werenewer and some of you have been doing it longer than you careto count. When we think about practicing accessibility, itreally has nothing to do with how long any of us has beendoing the work or how much experience we've had. It's one contact at a time. It's this phone call. It's this face-to-face. It's this meeting that I'm sitting down in. So it takes humility because sometimes even good, smart, caring people misconnect because we miss cues with people. And it takes a quality of mindfulness or present attention. Am I noticing the effect I might be having on another person? Good intention is a big deal. You'll never hear me sayit's not important to have good intention. But the intention to be helpful, the humility helps us understand, is notalways understood or experienced as help because experienceis in someone else's body and someone else's nervous system. And understanding is based on their learning and past events. So the intention to be helpful is not always understood orexperienced as help. The intention to be informative or encouraging or trustworthy or respectful are not alwaysexperienced or understood as that. And so one of my favorite social science books in recent years was called "Mistakes Were Made but Not by Me." And part of what they were saying is at least in the west, wetend to get defensive if someone is not understanding us, ifsomeone is not moving along at the pace we think is areasonable pace. And we end up marginalizing the other person more than thinking maybe it's something about mydelivery, not in general but for this person at this timeduring this contact. And so how do I practice adjustingmyself so someone else might be able to connect? What we know generally about what's happening in the lives of people with disabilities, adults with developmentaldisabilities have three times the rate of physical or sexualabuse as other adults. We have some sense that among peoplewith mental illness, 80% of psychiatric inpatients and 68% of outpatients report having some physical or sexual abuse intheir lifetime. We try to put our organizations of interpersonal abuseand sexual assault and people with disabilities together. We have a mix of all these concerns. And so how does this connect to trauma and how does trauma --what does trauma have to do with access? Well, right now the word "trauma" is used in many ways. Trauma is still understood by some people as events. Peoplewill talk about someone having traumatic events. Some peopleassume that certain events in a life are automaticallytraumatic events. There's also the use of trauma that talks about if someone is in an accident, the quality of impact. Someone will say someone has had a blunt force trauma to the head. In communicating with in a relatable way andhelping --hopefully helping people to understand what traumameans, we've been trying to talk about trauma as the effects of an event or the effects of patterned events in someone'slife on their nervous system and their thinking. So we know that people can go through even thesame --relatively the same thing at the same time and moveforward in their lives in very different ways. But when we think about trauma as what's left behind as a result of certain events in someone's life on their nervous system andthinking as they relate to feeling safe or unsafe, then we'rein the realm of trauma. And some of those effects can be understood as anxiety or fearfulness. Research specificallyon trauma says anyone it can be from anxiety or someoneliving in terror, from fears about what they think mighthappen. And when you live with that kind of anxiety orfearfulness, it can affect everything in your life includingyour interaction with someone who's intention is to be helpful. When we think of what it means to be aware of the possibility that anyone we're talking to, anyone with adisability we're talking to, the possibility that someone isliving with trauma, it would be a mistake to say everybody who has a disability is living with trauma. But when youthink about those numbers and percentages, it would probablynot be a bad thing for us to hold open the possibility thatwhen someone is anxious or loud or non-responsive that we can look at just that much, but the possibility that someone is living with fearfulness or anxiety. Another use of trauma is referred to as developmentaltrauma. It's still about the effects, what's left behind asa result of something that happened when someone was younger. And now with a certain age and new information, those effectsof anxiety or fearfulness might kick in. One of the people who I met years ago because she waspart of our --one of our colleagues on our collaboration fora while told us all that when she was 15 years old and took alife skills class in our high school, she heard the word"incest" for the first time and the teacher defined what it meant. And it was the first time in her life that she realized what was happening in our household wasn't supposed to happen. So those are effects of her of shame and fearfulness that someone might find out and her difficulty intrusting people then who came into her life after that. It was later than the events themselves that she started havingthose effects of fearfulness and isolating herself. I'd also like you to think about what are the accumulatedeffects. For people who live with disabilities where theymay be living in some kind of a placement or other people aresetting goals for them or setting rules for them or schedules for them or even behavioral plans for them, imagine what theaccumulated effects are of people having power and controlover you. And it's not about you having done anything wrong. People live with rules --I don't know about in your homes but if you have a curse. But there are people all aroundWisconsin who aren't allowed to curse in their own homes. And they have to be in their beds at a certain hour even ifthey want to watch TV or if it's a nice day and they want toget fresh air, someone's intention who is to be helpful and looking out for their safety might block the door so theycan't step outside. And so from the point of view of acaregiver, I'm keeping you receive and free from harm. From the point of view of a person living with a disability and receiving support at that household, they might be heldagainst their will. So these accumulated effects of not understanding why people had control in your life that youdon't have come into our interactions with them. So when people first started trying to apply science, thescience that we were learning about, what do we mean by"trauma" and what happens in someone's brain because that'swhere people were studying this. The phrase "traumainformed" was start being used in the framework of trauma-informed services or trauma-informed care or supports or organizations. It is very, very broad. People would sayI would go to an inservice or a training and I would ask, what's changed? Now that you have that information, what is it that you're doing differently? And they were puzzledbecause what they got as a framework of trauma-informed services or care but what they still weren't sure of is whatdid that have to do with them and how they were interactingwith people. Having information and symptom lists of someone who's living with trauma is not really the same as understanding: How do I infuse this information into my daily contacts withpeople? I want to ask you just about your own life for a minute. Consider just this notion of thinking, what kind of thinking you have to do to get through a day. I'm guessing there area lot of you who make lists. You make lists of things thatneed to be done during the day. And then if you're able tomake a list of things that need to be done, then to get started, you have to figure out some way to prioritize theactivities and steps on that list. You have to figure outwhat things need to be done before other things can beaccomplished. You might have to think about time sensitivity of things needing to be done for someone else at a certaintime. You might prioritize by trying to do the things you likefirst and avoiding the things you like to do least. Some of you do at no time other way around. You try to get rid ofthe things that you don't like to do and save the better things for after. Some of you go into memory and rememberthe last time you had a list like this how did it play out. Some of you anticipate the ripple effect, if I do this, thismight happen. If I don't do this, this might happen. You use what we call executive function to weigh and considerthings. What would happen if something interfered with yourability to think clearly? It might be disorienting. You might start to doubt yourself. You wouldn't feel confident. You might worry about how people were talking about youbecause you know they would think about how many shifts youmake in any day in terms of your energy or mood regulation. You leave your home and then you have coffee with someone andthen you have a staff meeting and then you talk to anindividual and then you're meeting with community people. We move in and out of different places with different people whohave different roles in our lives and we have different purposes. You have to adjust to where you are and who you're with and who they are to you and what decisions they might be ableto make about you. We do it when we are feeling pretty welleffortlessly. What would happen if you could not quickly adjust to thedifferent situations you were in? Let's say you got annoyedor angry about something and you couldn't let it go and soyou took that anger and frustration to the next meeting andspilled it over on them? Think about who you know who mighthave trouble with what we call ordinary thinking and mood regulation. People living with intellectual disabilitiesmight have trouble with that. People living with autism, being on the autism spectrum, people who have had braininjuries or experiencing other changes in the way theirbrains or their cognitive processes are working. People withmental illness, people who have disorders of thought ordisorders of mood that are identified as one form of mental illness or another. People experience sexual assault orinterpersonal substance abuse might have trouble with what we think of as ordinary thinking or adjustment of mood orenergy. People living with trauma. It's not that everybodyexperiences these difficulties all the time. But we sometimes forget when we're interacting with people with disabilities that part of the reason they struggle some ofthe time or all of the time is because thinking is not so easy and regulating mood and energy are sometimes not soeasy. And we tend to forget and get caught up in our ownside of the interaction and maybe just too harshly someone who is struggling to understand something. When we think about interpersonal access, interpersonal access includes howyou are with someone, one contact at a time. If you are looking at this slide and thinking it's laid out strangely, it was laid out beautifully when I sent it inand I think this is a different operating system and it'smoving things around on the slide. So bear with this. Access includes how you are at any one time, one contactat a time. And it's from the other person's point of view. This is really an accessibility issue. And when we think about then the "what is the now what," what happens after yougo to a training about being trauma informed? Well, one ofthe ways to break it down so it's immediately usable is to think about with awareness that someone might be living withtrauma or might be fearful of how other people have powerover them, we break it down to it's interactions. How do we bring awareness that someone might be living with trauma or someone else might be fearful of who has power over them intoour interactions. So let me help you break it down for a little bit. This POV, point of view, there's you on the left side of thescreen. If you are trying to be accountable and responsible as a worker, you are very much aware of time and yourschedule for the day. You are aware of what time it is and where you are supposed to go after this and who you aresupposed to see. That's reasonable and good because that'show you get --that's what you are asked to do in your work. And you are aware of any particular time of what is theactivity that's supposed to be unfolding and are there anyparticular goals for this activity. And you might haveexpectations about what other people that you're encountering, how they will be with you. What's appropriate? We all have a different idea of what is appropriate in terms of how people engage with us. You might have lines and think if someone is crossing them, that's just wrong, someone is not supposed to be doing that, what I want you to think about is what happens when aninteraction is not unfolding the way you hoped it would. Someone is not participating with you the way you hoped theywould. They're not answering the questions. They don't have the same values that you have. That's wanting energy. Think about it just for a minute in terms of your voice. What do you think happens to your voice when things are not unfoldingthe way you hoped they would? If you are like many of the people I talk to, you might be aware that maybe your voice gets a little louder or maybeyou get a little bit of a tone or an attitude in your voice. Maybe your voice speeds up or maybe you get a little clippedin your tone with someone. This wanting energy, wanting it to unfold differently than it is --another part of wantingenergy, wanting it to be different, wanting it to be the wayyou hoped it would be when you imagined going into thisencounter. What happens to your thoughts during this? Are any of you subject to being a little bit judgmental about people in a meeting or on the other side of the phone? Judgmental or maybe a little blaming that someone isn'tlistening correctly? Why don't they know this? That's a terrible value someone else is holding. Maybe you give way to judgment or have self-doubt and take it on or someone more experienced needs to be here thanme because I don't know what to do now. Notice the way yourthinking can be like getting up at the top of the slide andgoing down. That's also wanting energy. Energy might bewhat's happening in your body. Any of you aware in your moments of stress, that's whatwe're talking about being out of your comfort zone andwanting it to be different than it is, we're talking aboutqualities of stress. Any of you hold your jaws title or feeltension on the back of your neck? Or maybe your chest getstight or you have hold your breath or you take deep breaths. Maybe you start sweating as your heat rises. All of this could be categorized under this heading of wanting energy. This is your point of view at a moment in time. And on the other side of you is someone who is trying to findconnection. The other person's point of view is they havetheir own thoughts, their own senses, what's happening intheir minds, what's happening in their bodies. What are theyhearing, feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting? Their interest and concerns might not line up with yours. What are their skills at coping with frustration at a speed more than theywant. You are going faster than they can. Are you usingwords that they don't understand because you have used itmany times and someone else hasn't caught up with what youknow and isn't sure they want to. What are people's abilities to cope with frustration? There's always more to something they are not saying that goes into their lives. What do they understand? What are their emotions? We then want having energy versus sometimeswanting energy. I know I don't meet people who work in ourfields who set out to be versus anybody who's coming to themfor help but it can feel like one person's wanting energy is an opposition to someone else's want or wanting energy. That's when people leave. That's why even in fields where wehave a sensitivity to power and control, control and power can seep into support relationships over the phone, inperson, at meetings, wherever we do work, in programs wherepeople go for support and shelter. Control can creep intosupport relationships. What comes out of this then is a certain kind of locked thinking, a certain kind of brain lock. Notice the languageand where you work, with people who seek your support andservices out ever get characterized as being out of controlor angry or lazy, she doesn't care, being difficult to bearound, being manipulative, just doing it for attention. We say of some people, he has challenges or she has challenges, these are characterizations because you have no idea whatsomeone is actually doing. Someone is called manipulative. I pass that on and I pass that on to you, I was here all night and she was manipulative, you are getting my badfeelings about someone but you have no idea exactly whatshe's doing. So it's a characterization rather than a report. Our culture of support really accepts all of this language as casual. And we put it in written reports aboutpeople, some of us. Yet, none of it is usable because itdoesn't really tell us what someone does. I had the experience of meeting someone who when asked if she everheard herself written about or talked about in ways that she didn't like, you know, what had she heard or seen she saidshe was described as manipulative all the time. She went on to explain that on assume days she made a lot of phone calls, on some days she called a social worker, an advocate and her sister and she called them many times on the same day andthey said she was being manipulative. And then she told us so we know --when I said "manipulative" probably you didn'tgo to phone calls. That's not where your mind went. But her point of view was each one of those phone calls kept herdistracted from suicidal thoughts. She had adapted and founda strategy of trying to stay alive longer. So she contacted everybody she could think of and she didn't say I'm callingbecause I'm having suicidal thoughts because that's what she was trying to distance herself from. So she would call and talk about the weather and what she was eating and anythingshe could think of that would distract her. Her adaptive strategy was characterized in a negative and people tried to have left contact with her when she mostneeded it. On the other side of any characterization is clearer andmore usable information. And then think about how our brain sometimes lock around was talking in terms of populations. We sometimes talk about people with mental illness and peopleon the spectrum and undocumented and homeless. And when we slip into population language, we're actually missing out ongetting to know one person at a time. And so these kinds of characterizations in addition to not being very helpfulbecause they don't tell us what people are actually doing andin the context in which they're doing it though subvertaccess because people don't want to be around when they feelthemselves being judged and treated in a negative way. Think about how we look as a culture. Think about how we look at babies. We watch their facial expressions, listen totheir sounds, their gestures, their movements because we wantto be helpful. We are curious. We're interpreters of thingsthat we're not sure about. We want to help them cope andassert and accomplish things. And then babies become children and teens and adults and some of them are identified as having disabilities. Think about what happens to our curiosity. Our curiosityleads to judgment and our judgments lead to characterizationsand we lead with diagnoses. How do we invite curiosity backthe same way we generously offered it to babies? Because that's what we need. How do we bring curiosity "I wonder what's happening in this person's life," "I wonder what he orshe are trying to cope with or assert or accomplish." The word "behavior" is huge in the lives of people withdisabilities. Again, part of our culture is very behavioral. We'll talk about someone else's behavior. When behavior justmeans someone's action but that action is everything we do. But it also occurs in context. Actions always have acontext. We sometimes just focus on the action withoutconsidering the context. And we judge the action negativelyor positively. And if it's negative, we say it's badbehavior or difficult behavior, challenging behavior. And we set our sites on changing it and getting someone to be moreappropriate and cooperative and agreeable. Think about in the last couple weeks not in relation toyour work but in your family lives or social lives orcommunity lives, have any of you raised your voice at anyone? You've yelled. Or if you didn't yell, maybe you just stoppedtalking and thought, I'll show this person. I'm not going totalk to them. Is that you communicating skillfully and yetwe do it, we sometimes raise our voices or we curse or westop talking and turn our backs on people because in a momentin time we are coping with something that was beyond our control. It wasn't unfolding the way we wanted it to fromour point of view. And so our behavior, our actions were our attempts to cope with something that was not unfolding theway we wanted it to. It's the most ordinary of things. I wanted more of something or less of something so I yelled orI cursed or I banged my hand or I walked out or I started tocry or I shut down. I was trying to accomplish something. Notice the difference in generosity of language and evencuriosity as compared to talking about someone's behavior and how to fix it that we have curiosity about what is it thatsomeone is trying to cope with or assert or trying toaccomplish. That level of generosity and curiosity is reallyat the heart of what we're trying to do when we talk about being trauma aware or power aware or even accessible. It's not just about the parking space. It's what happens whenpeople make contact with other human beings. Another slide, these are all --these are difficult to read this way. Apologize about that. Some of what we have been learning about social scienceover the years, it answers the question how is it possiblefor good, smart, caring people can sometimes do things thatseem so hard for people to connect with. How come we lose raise our voices? How come we do look away? How come we are not hearing what people want us to hear? It certainlydoesn't happen all the time. We are talking about when itdoes happen how to fix that. So what we see from some of the newer social science researches, our minds work in a couple of ways. We've gotDaniel Goldman who wrote the book "Focus," talking aboutbottom up mind and top-down mind. We have the author talkingabout the two ways our brains work, very fast and very slow. We have language that's been around for a long time, old brain and new brain. Old brain, thinking fast. Bottom up isall emotional, it's our quick, emotional, fast, automaticreactions. Someone calls me a name and says "you're notdoing anything to help me," they yell at me. They don'tanswer my questions. And I have an emotional, fast, automatic reaction to that possibly. New brain, top-down mind, thinking slower is our rationale mind. It's when we get to consider things, whenwe're deliberate, when we actually let ourselves wonder about someone else's point of view. We like to think that we are in rationale, deliberate mind and method most of the timewhen we're trying to offer support to other people. But one of the other research findings is that most of usoverestimate our ability to be rationale. And old brain can overrule new brain. Our emotions can override our rationale thinking. And so when someone does or says something that touches a nerve enough, too often we react. And so how do we try touse that information to make ourselves more accessible more of the time. I'll say here, I don't really think it's possible to getit right 100% of the time. So the goal isn't about gettingit right 100% of the time. It's what can we do to become more aware of ourselves more of the time? Notice these lists, these qualities of engagement andthinking about how do you want to engage with people. If youlook at the bottom of the slide, this is a cue, someoneyelled. Someone was silent when you asked a question. Someone broke a rule where you work. Someone was loud when they were supposed to be quiet. Someone drank. Someone called names. Whatever the cue is that you are reactive to, these slides got reversed. So where it says "responsive and present, listening, flexible, curious, her/his point of view," that should beabove where it says "cue responsive" on the other side. Reactive, automatic, habitual, impulsive, judgmental, yourpoint of view, that's cue and reactive. Think about which qualities you most want to have attributed to you. Would you prefer to be seen as reactive, automatic, habitual, impulsive, judgmental, and only thinkingabout your point of view? Or would you have a preference forresponsive, present, listening, flexible, curious, considering the other person's point of view? Pick the column you want because that's where the practice comes in. How can I get myself to be responsive and present andlistening? How do I get myself to be responsive rather thanreactive to people so that I can be accessible more of the time? These are choices that we get to make. So if you thinkabout how do you unlock a locked brain, when we walk aroundthinking someone is difficult, challenging, hard to bearound, impossible to please, however the characterizations unfold, to better appreciate someone else's point of view andunlock our own thinking or colleague's, one of the ways wecan do it is to ask questions that require us to think toanswer. What are you seeing or hearing that you're describing asmanipulative? What are you seeing or hearing that you aredescribing as difficult? You can ask this question ofyourself or someone else. What are you seeing or hearingthat you're describing in this particular way that might befilled with a bit of judgment or blame or you're even doubting yourself. It's a nice way to get back on track. The only way to answer an open-ended question of this kind is to think, so not be reactive, to consider what youdon't know as compared to what you think you do know. What are you seeing or hearing? You can ask it of yourself or youcan ask it of someone else. It's an interesting challenge. Any time you think that you --one of your colleagues orco-workers uses a characterization rather than a report, it can become your practice to say, well, what are you saying or hearing that you are describing is difficult to work with? What are you seeing or hearing that you are describing asangry? Because not everybody's anger is expressed the sameway. So you are never wasting your time with this question. And for those of you who might be in a position of havingcontact with a lot of people because maybe you're in asupervisory role, we teach people what kind of information wewant from them. If you become the person who every time someone offers a characterization of another person, if youare the one that says, what are you seeing or hearing? People will start answering with more verbs. I'm listening for verbs. I'm listening for action words. I want to be able to picture what someone is literally doing or what they're actually saying. When you have a cleardescription of what someone is seeing or hearing, you get tosay, well, when is he or she more likely to do that when? When is he or she more likely to yell or storm out or refuse? When is someone more likely to do that? It's a useful question. It's not --in a behavioral world where we talk about antecedents and consequences, people think they need to give you an answer to what are thecauses as though it's a light switch. And people aren'tlight switches. So this is more of a likelihood. When is someone more likely to yell or walk out or refuse? Likelihood. Anyone can answer that. And it's best guessesthat you are after. What does she probably understand? What does she probably understand about who you are in her life? What does she or he probably understand about what an advocate is orwhat the rules are or why they exist? What does someone understand about what's in place in your program or if it'scourts. What does someone understand about legal language or medical language if you are providing that kind of support? We often assume understanding when it's a mistake to dothat and we sometimes say, do you understand? And people nodbecause it's easier to nod than to acknowledge, not understanding. How do we frame that so we really arechecking for comprehension of what we're talking about? When you think about some of the people that we supportwho have disabilities, certainly people in the autism spectrum, words are very confusing sometimes and relationships are confusing and trust is confusing. It's worth slowing down. What does this person probablyunderstand? And why do I think that? Why am I thinking thatbecause I gave someone an explanation or a pamphlet that they understood that? What is she probably experiencing? Wherever I am, whether someone is on the other side of a phone from me or ina program or in a meeting room or at a conference settingswhere a training is, what can you look at somebody and see what they are experiencing in their bodies and what are theyseeing? Are they seeing me look at them? Are they seeing melook at a computer screen. Are they seeing me looking at apiece of paper rather than at them? What do my facialexpressions suggest? What's the tone of voice that theymight be experiencing? What are they seeing? Think about sensations. What are they seeing, hearing, feeling in theirbodies? What are they thinking? And this is all guessing. It's respectful guessing. You're not trying to put words in people's mouths or make up a story. What's the evidence for why you think someone mightbe comfortable or uncomfortable? And what emotions might goalong with those understandings and those feelings? While we're going through these questions, it's worth noticing these questions are really the practice of empathy. Empathy is trying to imagine what is it like to be the otherperson in this moment of time. Not what would I be like if I was in this situation, what would I want or what would I do if I was in that situation but what's my best, mostrespectful guess about what's happening in someone else'sthinking and body and nervous systems at this time? And then the question that I like most but I find youcan't ask it first --because I've tried and it doesn't work --which is what do you think she's trying to cope withor assert or accomplish? This generosity is rarely given topeople with disabilities. One of the things that getsstripped away when people with disabilities are subsumed under a column of challenging or difficult or unwelcomebehavior is that they just need to change. They need to bedifferent and our wanting energy goes toward how do I get herto be good. How do I get her to be quiet? How do I get herto this or that? It's very generous and it should be amatter of course for any human being to understand what theyare coping or understand what they want more or less of andwhat they are trying to accomplish. What I find is if I ask that question first, that wanting energy that I talked about when you have got the point of view of any one of us and someone who is trying to get theirneeds met and feel safe and respected at the same time, well, she's just pissed off. She is just angry. She is justtrying to get attention. You get all of that wanting energythat isn't very helpful about having a trauma aware or poweraware interaction or to continue practicing in what we do inan accessible way. When we go through these questions, what are you seeingor hearing? What is' or she more likely to do that? What does this person probably understand? What is the personprobably experiencing or feeling? And then what is she trying to cope with or assert or accomplish in this moment? In this moment. It's not always at the end of our relationship. It's at the beginning. It's right now duringthis contact, what is she trying to cope with or assert oraccomplish. When we can guess on that even on the spot, what might behelpful? And then we can guest to things like maybe I could slow down. Maybe I could say less. Maybe I could wait andsee if he or she has something to say. Maybe I could explainthis in a different way or make it visually more clear thansomeone has experienced. But it gives me options. So when I said earlier sometimes we just have these decision points andthe decision point is do I keep doing what I'm doing or willI adjust myself to be present with this person, thesequestions help us get closer to that. So trying to be accessible, trying to be trauma aware or power aware isn't an add-on. What's happening with sort ofthe framework approach of people going to trauma-informed trainings or having trauma-informed in-services is people are thinking two things. One is they're thinking it's an add-on to what they already do. And they need proof that someone isliving with trauma. They need proof that someone hasexperienced harm in order to use these practices. And our approach is a little different. We think that it's not an add-on. Being accessible is for every contact all of the time. It's not a switch we turn on sometimes and leave off in others. It is the way we do interactive work, is that we try tohelp anyone who contacts us to feel safe and respected andthat they have some control and charge of even how fast things are going in their lives. Certainly if there is acourt involved or there are legal proceedings, it's not myjob to say "you need to, you need to, you need to" because Iwant to preserve my support role. But I might said "the court is requiring this to happen by this time, is there anyway I can be of help to you" so I don't lose my alliance with someone by joining someone else's requirement. So being accessible is --we try to keep it turned on allthe time. We don't need proof of harm. We don't need proofthat someone has experienced harm or living with trauma totry and be accessible and respectful and not take controlaway from people. Accessible is what we strive to be one contact at a time with everyone. So I'm going to suggest that if you're with a small groupof people today and if you're not, if you are listeningalone, that maybe you spend some time and maybe try and gettogether with some people in the not-too-distant future and think about these questions: When are you more likely to beout of your comfort zone? Meaning when are your expectationsnot met? And you're allowed to be --and you are encouragedto be --not worry about being petty about this. Maybesomeone doesn't smell good to you. Maybe someone is louder than you want. Maybe someone has a speech pattern that youdon't like or you are distracted by appearance factors ofthem. Anything that puts you out of your comfort zone isworth noting. And when are you more likely to be out of yourcomfort zone? The other is when are you likely to slip into automatic? If you are an intake worker or you fill out forms with peopleand you've been doing this for a while, whenever you'rethinking that you're doing a presentation that's 101information, it's basic information, and you slip into automatic, that's automatic for you. It doesn't mean it is for anyone else. If you have asked someone a question, dozens or even hundreds of time it's possibly still the firsttime someone is being asked that question. It's worth noticing when do you go on automatic. Researchers have come up with a word for this when we gointo automatic. It's that --it's another form of old brain work. They call it chunking. When we start doing a wholesequence of things because it's so familiar to us, we don't have to pay too much attention. The problem is when we do that in interpersonal work, someone else has trouble with that when we're just fillingout the form but we've forgotten that there's a human beingon the other side of our question. So think about those things and make lists for yourselves. And you will findyou're all different on this. Another question: What adjustments might help you to bemore attentive during those times when you might be out ofyour comfort zone or on automatic? What adjustments mighthelp you to be more attentive? And then being moreattentive, more accessible? And, thirdly, what reminders would help you to practicethose kinds of adjustments to be more accessible one contactat a time? And be creative. Whatever would help you remindyourself of those things would be terrific. For any of you who want to pursue this in a slower wayand get a little bit more detail, some resources that areavailable to you at our Web site, disabilityrightswi.org. Access from an interpersonal angle, creating safety by asking"what makes people vulnerable," conversations aboutinterpersonal safety, those three were all --I'm actuallyhappy to say funded on our grant work. The last one "When Deaf and Hearing Meet" was funded by a Wisconsin state grant a number of years ago. All four of these have a great dealto do with different access issues and trauma aware and poweraware interactions. So those are available to you for freeat our Web site. And, Shannon, if you want to come back if there are any questions, we can take it from there. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Thank you so much, Mark, for thatgreat presentation. Really, really thought-provoking. I'm going to open up now and just ask if anyone out there has anyquestions for Mark. We've got some time to continue thisconversation, so if you have any questions, please use thebox that is in the bottom right-hand side of your screen that says "questions or technical difficulties." That's our Q&Abox. And so you can enter into a question that you mighthave for Mark in there and then we will read it out loud to everyone here. So I'm going to leave it for a few moments so if peoplewant to ask any questions of Mark this afternoon. Additionally, what I will note, I note Mark noted some errors in his presentation which I think was probably havingto do when we convert PowerPoints into our presentationsystem. I will --I have noted that and I will work with Mark to make sure those are corrected for when we send materials out --when we send materials out to you in afollow-up email either tomorrow or the day after. We'll include an updated presentation for your use. Again, if you have questions for Mark or you would liketo ask a question of the group, you can do so by using the questions or technical difficulties pod by just entering yourquestion and I will read it out loud. We have a question here: What are some common errors that you find counselors can make when counseling someonewith disabilities? >> MARK SWEET: Probably what I hear most is theassumption that people understand basic questions and vocabulary. Language is difficult. And the fact that peopleare often coming in feeling like people don't get them orthey're being judged or if they want through any kind of special education, that they're not smart enough. I think assuming too much is probably the biggest one. And when it's counseling people who have experienced abuse ortoo much power --I'll give you the example I heard. And it's the most subtle --it's the most subtle example oftrauma awareness interaction that I have ever heard of it. A woman who was a counselor came to a session I was doing once, and we were talking about that part of the presentation. She gave an example from her practice where she said: I used to a phrase with a particular client that I have usedprobably hundreds, if not thousands of times, in my practice. She said the woman had started disclosing some events in herlife that the counselor thought would be valuable in their work together. And she said "tell me more about it." And the gesture she said with her arms were her arms coming up infront of her in a X with her fists made as if the women was protecting herself. And she said I just watch her completely shut down. And I'm realizing even though I thought I said itgently saying "tell me" felt like an order for her. Because of the life that she had lived, that order lefther fearful of will I get punished if I do, will I getpunished if I don't. What harm will come to me because I've just been given an order? So when we were in a group, we said let's think --so that would be one --and I'm certainly not suggesting to youthat any of you would ever use that phrase "tell me moreabout it" because for other people it wouldn't be a big deal. But for this particular client when we were saying, if youhad it to do over again, for her, how would you reframe it? That might be interesting to pursue. Is there anything moreyou want to say about that? Anything that takes the firmness of the order out of. So I just think assumption is probablythe shortest answer to your question, is assuming too much. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Great, thanks, Mark. Our next question here is how do you suggest anorganization begins to measure the capacity to know how to serve folks with disabilities? Are there any assessmenttools you would recommend so we can start to devise a plan? Mark, I'm going to let you answer this one starting andthen I will follow up with some suggestions that I have. >> MARK SWEET: Sure. Actually, I'll offer you another publication that waspart of our grant project which is "Trauma-Informed Organizations." If you go to the same Web site that's still on the board and click on publications and searchtrauma-informed organizations, there's another guide that might give you another indication. I think we actually all in all of our organizations coulddo better when we overhear our co-workers sometimes getting a little louder or feeling frustrated. Can we get over the idea that we're judging and just say, you know, it soundedlike that was maybe a little bit of your frustration that wascoming out. I think there are systems things that are worth lookingat because this is interpersonal work. There's nothing that really is more reflective, a more mirror on what we're doingthat in the moment or shortly after something is happeningwhen we notice each other seeming like it's our wantingenergy for it to be going different that we say, hey, take adeep breath. Literally. Take a deep breath. Stretch. On the other side of that contact was somebody who might nevercall again. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Great, Mark. I'm just going to add to that in terms of maybe sometangible tools, if you visit our Web site which iswww.endabusepwd.org, we have a number of tools on that Web site that have been used and created by organizations thatare really looking at accessibility for survivors, some ofwhich were created by Mark and some of his colleagues over atDisability Rights Wisconsin. We have also developed an indicater system which you canalso find on that Web site. And the indicater system is alittle bit more of a structured way for evaluating yourorganization's accessibility and capacity to serve survivorswith disabilities. So those are just a couple of suggestionsfor those of you out there looking to engage in this. Again, you can go to our Web site at www.endabusepwd.org. And browse around. You can email us at cvs@vera.org if you wouldlike to ask us specifically for a referral to a resource, we can definitely try to work with you and find a resource thatwill meet your needs. Next question, Mark, can you say more about problems withdescriptions? You were talking about certain descriptionsthat we use, descriptions such as homelessness or undocumented. This person it says it seems like never beingable to describe someone's circumstances more broadly canmake communication very difficult. So if you could maybeexpand a little bit more what you mean when using certain terminology like that. >> MARK SWEET: Thank you for bringing that one upbecause I understand there are times particularly when we are looking at funding and looking at organization, theorganization resources, you certainly want to be able to say, for example, if you have had contact with a certain number orcertain percentage of who don't have homes. I understand the use then for doing that or for statistical reasons, you aretrying to track who are you seeing, are there substance abuseproblems or mental illness compared to autism or an intellectual disability. I understand there are times when it makes sense. What I was trying to highlight is when it gets down tothe personal contact, that might be that someone doesn't havea place to live or someone is using drugs or alcohol or has an identified disability but that's not who they are in termsof the relationship. When we end up characterizing peopletoo broadly, we miss --we close down the curiosity. Many years ago before I ever had any dealings with sort of antiviolence work, just in trying to understand mentalillness, I met a woman who told me when her illness wasbiggest would identify herself when people would say: What's your name? She would say her name is Gandhi. She was referring to the leader of the Indian revolution Gandhi. And people wouldn't go forward with her because they identifiedher as being mentally ill and psychotic and she thinks she'sGandhi. I said to her, what would have been more helpful --this is what we mitt when we sometimes lose the person with all of the characterization and population talk, is she said itwould have been helpful if someone said: Do you have a placeto sleep? When was the last time you ate? Is there some place where you feel safe taking a shower? Are youresponsible for any children? We sometimes lose those verypractical, immediate concerns. I understand the need sometimes to use that broader category or population representation in our work. It doesn't take the place in one-to-one work when we're reallytrying to figure out how to get to know someone what might bemost current and present in their concerns. Thank you forbringing that up. I get the opportunity to clarify that. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Great, thank you, Mark. Our final question is just asking about questions --or asking about resources that assist in adapting handouts orinformational resources in a universal design. Mark, do you have any suggestions? I can also follow upon this question as well. >> MARK SWEET: Yeah, I was going to say I think you all at Vera have paid close attention to that so I will let youtake that one. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Yeah, definitely. Again, I'd strongly suggest if you're looking for some ofthese resources, handouts, again, if you go to our Web site at www.endabusepwd.org, you're going to be able to findthere's several sections on that Web site. I'd recommend going to the "get connected" section on our Web site whereyou're going to find a lot of communities that have engagedin this work and looked to adjust their work to reallysupport people with disabilities, a variety of disabilities. And so you'll be able to find examples of how people haveconverted their resources and materials that they use attheir agencies to really be supportive of this mindfulness that Mark has been talking about in terms of consideringpeople's point of view and their experiences. So you can find that there. If you would like more direction, again, please, email us at cvs@vera.org. And we would be more than willing to response to you any questions and provide you with any resources or direct you. We're starting to --seems to be wrapping up some things, wrapping up the presentation here. So if you have anylast-minute questions, please again --feel free to enter them into our Q&A box and I will try to respond to them. Otherwise, I'm going to take us to the end here. For those of you that are still here. Again, if you could take amoment to please respond to our Webinar evaluation. If yougo to the box below the presentation on your screen right now and click on the words that say "thank you for attending," ifyou click on those words and you click the button that says"browse to," it will take you to an external site to do abrief survey for us. We really do rely on these to provide feedback to our presenters such as Mark and to continue tobring you Webinars that are relevant to your work. So if youcould please take a moment to do that before you leave. And we'll also be sending out an email with somefollow-up materials so you can look for that. Otherwise, Iwould really like to thank Mark for being here with us todayand for providing us with some really thought-provoking materials this afternoon. So I would encourage you tocontinue to think about this, follow up with Mark if you would like. And please do look to attend some of our futureWebinars. Our next one will be March 15th. So I will leave the Webinar open for a few more minutes so you can takeadvantage of some of the materials we have on the screen, respond to our Webinar. Again, thank you so much, Mark, forbeing here with us today and hopefully you'll be able to joinus again soon. >> MARK SWEET: Thanks very much. Thanks to all of you. >> SHANNON SCULLY: Have a good afternoon, everyone. (Webinar has concluded.)